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I.AM.JOB

June 8, 2011

Any Mrs. Doubtfire fans out there? No? Just me? Ok.

Can we just talk about how hard it is to land a job? I received three rejection emails yesterday. Three! One was for a job that I REALLY wanted to get and had made it to the final round. The final round! I was at the finish line! And…. no cigar. Ugh.

Now, I know no one wants to read a blog where author complains, but please humor me for a short while because I’m hoping someone can relate.

I have applied for over 60 jobs. Which, in turn, means I have written over 60 cover letters. I’ve changed my résumé at least 5 times and spent countless hours designing it so it will stand out. I’ve gone on eight interviews. I’ve had people tell me “you’re doing everything right” or “i’d hire you, your background is great” or my personal favorite “just keep at it”.

I’ve bought new outfits, new shoes, gotten my haircut, nails done, bought train tickets, driven all over the state… all to try to land a job.

I’ve laid awake at night going over everything I said in the interview, what is in my cover letter, wondering if going to grad school was a mistake, etc. If you can worry about it, I probably have.

Just call me…

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I really try to be hopeful and tell myself that the right thing will come along when it’s meant to be…yadda…yadda…yadda. But some days that is just really hard. Today is one of those days.

Maybe it’s because I’m turning 28 soon, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. No house, no job, no money. Just a lot of debt, my life in boxes, and a lot of hard-earned life experience. When I started grad school, I felt so sure of the path I was on and that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Things felt mostly right. Now, master’s degree in hand I’m not sure if it was right. Any of it. The school, the degree program, the huge move it required…

Now, that’s not to say I didn’t get a lot of it. I did. Especially some great friends. I’m grateful I have them to lean on through this and know at least we are all going through it together.

I am giving myself today and tomorrow to feel bad about not getting this job and then my pity party about it is over. I promise. You can hold me to it.

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